Let's skip the lawyer-speak. You're here because you need to figure out a custody schedule that actually works for your family—not the "ideal" setup from a parenting magazine, but something you and your ex can actually pull off.
Here's the honest truth: there's no perfect schedule. Every option has trade-offs. The goal is finding the one where the trade-offs hurt the least for your specific situation.
Don't have time to read everything? Start here:
If you and your ex live close (under 20 min) and both work normal hours:
→ Try 2-2-3 for young kids or alternating weeks for older kids
If one parent travels a lot or has an unpredictable schedule:
→ Start with every other weekend + midweek and adjust from there
If your kid has serious separation anxiety or is under 3:
→ 2-2-3 keeps them connected to both parents frequently
If you and your ex can barely be in the same room:
→ Alternating weeks = fewer handoffs = fewer chances to argue
If your kid does Wednesday soccer and Tuesday piano and you want consistency:
→ 5-2-2-5 gives each parent the same weekdays every week
If one parent genuinely can't do 50/50 (and that's okay):
→ Every other weekend or 70/30 are real options
| Schedule | Time Split | Weekly Handoffs | Reality Check |
|----------|-----------|----------------|---------------|
| Alternating Weeks | 50/50 | 1 | Simple but 7 days apart is rough for little kids |
| 2-2-3 | 50/50 | 3 | Great for young kids, exhausting for parents |
| 3-4-4-3 | 50/50 | 2 | Middle ground, confusing to track |
| 5-2-2-5 | 50/50 | 2 | Best for activity consistency |
| Every Other Weekend | 80/20 | 2 every other week | One parent does almost everything |
| 70/30 + Midweek | 70/30 | 3-4 | Compromise when 50/50 doesn't work |
Everyone talks about 50/50 like it's the gold standard. And yeah, equal time with both parents sounds fair. But here's what nobody tells you:
50/50 works when:
Here's the honest truth: there's no perfect schedule. Every option has trade-offs. The goal is finding the one where the trade-offs hurt the least for your specific situation.
Quick Decision Guide
Don't have time to read everything? Start here:
If you and your ex live close (under 20 min) and both work normal hours:
→ Try 2-2-3 for young kids or alternating weeks for older kids
If one parent travels a lot or has an unpredictable schedule:
→ Start with every other weekend + midweek and adjust from there
If your kid has serious separation anxiety or is under 3:
→ 2-2-3 keeps them connected to both parents frequently
If you and your ex can barely be in the same room:
→ Alternating weeks = fewer handoffs = fewer chances to argue
If your kid does Wednesday soccer and Tuesday piano and you want consistency:
→ 5-2-2-5 gives each parent the same weekdays every week
If one parent genuinely can't do 50/50 (and that's okay):
→ Every other weekend or 70/30 are real options
The 6 Schedules at a Glance
| Schedule | Time Split | Weekly Handoffs | Reality Check |
|----------|-----------|----------------|---------------|
| Alternating Weeks | 50/50 | 1 | Simple but 7 days apart is rough for little kids |
| 2-2-3 | 50/50 | 3 | Great for young kids, exhausting for parents |
| 3-4-4-3 | 50/50 | 2 | Middle ground, confusing to track |
| 5-2-2-5 | 50/50 | 2 | Best for activity consistency |
| Every Other Weekend | 80/20 | 2 every other week | One parent does almost everything |
| 70/30 + Midweek | 70/30 | 3-4 | Compromise when 50/50 doesn't work |
Real Talk About 50/50
Everyone talks about 50/50 like it's the gold standard. And yeah, equal time with both parents sounds fair. But here's what nobody tells you:
50/50 works when:
- Both parents actually want it (not just saying they do)
- You live close enough that the kid's life doesn't get disrupted
- Both of you can flex your work schedules around parenting
- Your kid handles transitions without falling apart
- One parent says yes but constantly "can't make it work"
- You live 45 minutes apart and your kid spends their life in a car
- Neither of you can leave work for a sick kid pickup
- Your child is in tears every single transition
- Anxious kids often do better with more frequent contact and shorter stretches away
- Independent kids might actually prefer longer stretches to settle in
- Routine-dependent kids need consistency more than frequency
- Social butterflies care more about being near friends than which parent they're with
- Your work: If you travel every other Tuesday, don't pick a schedule with Tuesday handoffs
- Your relationship with your ex: High conflict? Fewer handoffs. Coparenting smoothly? More flexibility.
- Geography: The 2-2-3 is impossible if you live an hour apart
- Money: Two complete households (clothes, toys, supplies at both) gets expensive
- See the custody pattern clearly
- Track who has the kids when
- Share events and activities
- Actually know what's coming next week